FYI…You’re supposed to read that in a tone of disbelief.

[I basically emailed this story to my friend and she thought this was blog worthy. So here it is…as it was emailed to my friend.]

Got home from my work thing, had some thawed out sloppy joes ready to go for dinner (easy peezy). And this is an important detail for later on. But back to the evening. The dog had been in the crate all day so when the neighbors were outside and had their dog on the loose, I was like, “Be free! Burn off some puppy energy cause we have dog training tonight and I don’t want you to be a spazoid!” So he did. He ran. Hard. And fast. And so far. I mean, they stayed in the cul de sac, but like he probably ran two miles doing circles around the houses with the neighbor dog. And then they both drank a gallon of water from the small stream running through the cul de sac. Jake and I took turns hanging with the neighbors and keeping an eye on Max. At around 6:45, I let him in the house so I could wipe him down and get him to chill a bit before dog training at 7:30 (god, it’s such a late time to be doing anything, but whatever).

So he peed at the house, we left, got to dog training and I meant to make him pee again before we went in but got distracted talking to another woman in my class about how the prong collar has changed her life. So we walked down the stairs together (it’s in the basement of the place where we bring him for doggy daycare). And then like two minutes later he just starts peeing like crazy! Like the pee where he’s like walking and peeing and has no clue what to do. And we’ve seen this before. It happens when he drinks way too much water and basically his kidneys are still not fully developed so they can’t hold it all in and he just starts flushing all the water cause his bladder can’t handle it. We talked to the vet about it, she asked us to try rationing his water throughout the day…like a cup of water here and there, not a full bowl of water all the time, and ever since we started doing that we’ve had no accidents in the  house. But then I realized, oh yeah, he drank a ton of water outside. So I ran him up the stairs to go potty outside again…embarrassed that I’d have a pile of pee to cleanup and class hadn’t even started yet. I get him to pee.  He pees a ton. We go back downstairs and the teacher was there now and she had started to put paper towels on the pee spots (it was everywhere). And she said she would hold Max while I cleaned it all up and sprayed it with bleach cleaner. Fair enough. She was kind and was like, “Accidents happen. Just make sure they go potty before they get here.” So, a bit embarrassed, but whatever. He’s a dog. And we’re in a puppy training class. Like, he’s not the only puppy. It’s fine.

Then…10 minutes later it’s our turn to show off what we’d been practicing the last week. And wouldn’t you know it, he peed again in front of everyone. I was super apologetic. And she was like, “He’s probably done now. You can just continue and then wipe it up.” But I knew he would probably pee some more if I took him outside, so I said, “I don’t think he’s done, I’ll be right back.” So I took him out…again he peed a ton. I got back down. Gave her his leash and then proceeded to get on my hands and knees and clean up the second spot. This time, in front of the whole class. Embarrassed? Oh very much so. I was contemplating calling it a night after that and leaving but even I was like, he’s probably peed out that gallon by now. I’m sure he’s fine.

So then we continue. And about five minutes later HE PEES AGAIN. And this time, the teacher goes, “Ugh, he’s peeing again! What is wrong with your dog??!?! Is he even potty trained? Does he do this at home???!” Like, she was legit yelling at me in front of the class. And I tried to explain that he is potty trained, he doesn’t do this at home, he just had a lot of water and it was my fault, I should have kept an eye on him, and as I’m about to bring him upstairs again she goes, “Well you’re going to have to start bringing your own paper towels then, I can’t just keep supplying these. I mean, it’s not a rule I’ve ever enforced, but I guess I’ll have to if this is going to keep happening.” So I was shaking at this point. I brought him upstairs, he peed again…a ton more. I went back down stairs. Didn’t even have her hold him, just kept my foot on his leash while I got on my hands and knees again, and cleaned up the mess. I put the supplies back, grabbed my purse and ran out of there before they could see me cry. UGH. I was so upset and pissed! Like at first I was upset that he peed, but then I was moreso pissed that she would choose to humiliate me in front of the whole class for something I have very little control over. And also – I paid $175 for this class and you’re going on about how I have to supply my own paper towels? What in the holy hell are you on, lady? UGHHHH! I was so pissed.

Who could possibly be upset with this face?

Then I got home and just could not stop thinking about how pissed I was and how she just called me out in front of all those people. Like, I will never go back there and I will never show my face again, and also…my dog isn’t broken, okay? So he can’t hold water like other dogs, he’s still a puppy and he deserves the same respect you’d give other dogs, you massive tool! I called to talk to the manager today about getting a full refund and couldn’t even stop myself from crying then. Like, they need to know how unprofessional this woman was. There are so many other ways she could have dealt with that. I wouldn’t have even been upset if she was like, “it looks like maybe this isn’t a good night for you two. What if we try this again next week. Maybe try limiting his water intake a bit more next week and we’ll see if that helps.” Like…there are ways you could have handled this that still address this issue and not make it seem like I’m this incompetent owner. Mother f’er.

So yeah, I talked to the owner’s daughter…and the trainer is just someone that works there part time. She told me getting a full refund wouldn’t be a problem, but that she wanted me to talk to the owner and tell her what happened so that they can deal with this appropriately. I still haven’t told them the full story, but I will definitely let them know this woman maybe needs some lessons in how to treat paying customers. I’m not asking for her to be a meek and mild woman when it comes to the actual teaching. Like, if you want to be the Gordon Ramsey of dog trainers, that’s fine! But…just for things that are in my control. My dog’s bladder? So very much not in my control. Well, I mean, limiting water is in my control but what’s not in my control is I can’t actually tell him how to hold it better. You get what I’m saying.

So then, I’m lying in bed, still rattled by all this. And all of a sudden I get massive heartburn and an upset stomach. Cue the sloppy joes coming back in the picture to make my sleep all the more awful. UGH!!!

Fun, right?

What?