It’s an understatement to say that I’ve been in a bit of a funk, lately. There is a lot of change happening, there is a lot of uncertainty, and there are probably a few too many adult beverages being consumed.
All that said, I think I’m keeping my head above water. But some days I feel like I’m drowning. Like, I literally can’t breathe. On one such day, recently, I went to the gym and ran for a bit and lifted weights. That usually clears my mind…and forces me to breathe, but I left the gym still feeling anxious and short of breathe.
I had so many things running through my head that I literally pulled over, parked my car, and started writing it all down. I was writing a post — one which may never see the light of day — but it was so freeing. It was so good to just expel those thoughts from my brain into some other medium. By the end of the post I could feel the anxiety leaving me. In fact, I looked at the post and didn’t even feel like I needed to keep going. I just ended it in a very “blah” way and then put it down.
But I could breathe. I wasn’t feeling anxious, I was feeling better. I slept well that night and have had a couple good days since then. My resolve is strengthening and I feel like I’m ready to continue down this road of change and uncertainty.
So this is all to say, writing helps. I forget how much I love it and how good it makes me feel until I pick it back up. Blogging is writing, but for now, it’s not the type of writing that I need. So excuse me for the lack of posts. I’ll get back to this soon, but for right now, I need the type of writing that makes me feel like I’m truly creating something of value, not just a sounding board for my life or my thoughts on writing.
Are you writing? You should. It helps.