It’s the edge of something

sitting-at-the-edge-of-a-cliff

 

I remember seeing this picture a while ago. It’s breathtaking and scary and bold and stupid. Does your heart race a little faster when you look at it? Do you think there’s any masochistic part of that man that thinks, “But what if?”

I think so.

But I’ll stop with the creepy foreboding because this isn’t one of those “Oh my god you guys I’m going to jump off this cliff!” kinds of posts. No, it’s just me trying to pinpoint that feeling of being on the edge of something.

What is that something, exactly?

That something could be a safety net — like when you do a trust fall at summer camp and you’re scared at first but then you feel multiple sets of strong arms cradling you and supporting you like a pillow and you think to yourself, “Oh thank god!”

That something could be a simple move forward that leads to you slipping and falling down a flight of stairs, clutching for the railing and landing really awkwardly on your ankle and yelling quite a few curse words while your heart races and you try to stabilize yourself. You’re okay, for the most part, but my god you just got twenty more gray hairs in that moment.

That something could be your greatest fear turned into your greatest triumph. Maybe it’s opening a new door that you’ve never seen inside and as you do you see a pair of bright red eyes and hear a nasty snarl and the pit in your stomach grows larger and larger as you realize that the door won’t shut and you’re being pushed forward through the door. You clutch for the wall to find the lights and close your eyes playing the child’s game of “It can’t see me if I can’t see it” and finally feel the light switch. You turn it on, but still don’t open your eyes because you’re too scared to see what’s in front of you. When you finally get the courage to open your eyes, the only thing you see is a mirror where your reflection is looking right back at you. The fear in your heart subsides momentarily, but you know that the fear will always be inside of you.

You need to go into the darkness despite your fear.

Sitting on the edge…

So that’s my current state of affairs.

Play it safe. Take a small step forward into uncertainty. Or go all in and just face the fear.

Time will tell.

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